The Mickel Therapy Clinic, Auckland, Mickel Therapy - contact Kim or book a session
by Dr David Mickel
“The tighter you squeeze, the less you have.”
Zen Saying
We all entertain expectations about all sorts of things everyday, from expecting a friend to phone when they said they would; to expecting water to come out of the tap when we switch it on; to expecting the floor to hold under our feet when we swing our legs out of bed in the morning. Many of these expectations lie outside of our conscious awareness – especially when it comes to taps and floors - and arguably are necessary learnings in order for us to do anything in life.
However, there are some expectations that are a little more conscious and require a little more conscious effort. These expectations tend to be the ones that require us to put ourselves into the future, using our brains to create scenarios that we look to move towards or away from.
So, if I were to think about the week ahead I could form a number of ideas about what I want to happen – using my brain to dip into the future. These could be work tasks, domestic chores, social and leisure activities, amongst other things. Clearly, there are great benefits from being able to use our brains in this way – like being able to plan and set goals.
However, there can also be a downside and this occurs when we hold onto those expectations so tightly that they run counter to the other emotional and intuitive signals that our bodies may be sending. This holding on can occur both before an event as well as after an event.
As we know in Mickel Therapy our Conscious-Energy responds to life as it happens, and emotions are produced in response to things happening out there in life right now. If our heads are firmly holding onto some expectation, either before of after the event, regardless of other emotional-intuitive feedback, the result will be the experience of a large amount of frustration and probably symptoms.
So what is the answer? Well, the tools, techniques and principles of Mickel Therapy are designed to facilitate a balance that will ensure that the forceful brain doesn’t drive us out of balance to a place that leaves us feeling drained, depleted and unwell.
The goal of these newsletters is to offer something that maybe useful to practice after reading. It could be argued that there are some generic expectations that we implement in our lives.
Probably the most common of the generic expectations relates to time, and the amount of time we allocate ourselves to fulfilling certain tasks and activities. It is frequently the case that we set out expectations using our brains without really feeling whether they can be achieved or whether the timescale is right. In other words the Truth based on primary e-motions risks being denied. Also, as we move toward this outcome our brains tend to stick quite rigidly to the original plan whilst our energy is fluctuating and responding to everything else that may be happening.
Allow yourself to feel your natural rhythm inside your body, and allow yourself to move in a time that feels right and suits you – this may speed up or slow down, but is very different from a brain-driven pace which will tend to be quick, relentless and continually speeding up.
Also, the reason we do anything is because of the emotions that are attached to particular activities. Recognising this helps us to be a little more fluid and less attached to those activities or things.
If you are unable to achieve activity A then recognise the emotion that you were seeking to satisfy and move quickly to activities B or C.
Much of this requires being present in your body to feel the emotional-intuitive signals that are created in order to respond to them in a timely, appropriate manner. This takes practice and some patience, but as the saying goes, “how do you get to heaven…………….practice, practice, practice”. Probably the biggest challenge in this is created by secondary e-motions and patterns of behaviour that evolve in ill health.
The Mickel Therapy process is designed to deal with these solely by addressing the primary e-motions that we all get as information even in perfect health. The biggest but most important shift our clients make is in proving to themselves that the true nature of symptoms is not a request for rest. When this is achieved symptom free existence is just around the corner….this expectation is a certainty.
"... the only time you ever have in which to learn anything or see anything or feel anything, or express any feeling or emotion, or respond to an event, or grow, or heal, is this moment, because this is the only moment any of us ever gets. You’re only here now; you’re only alive in this moment."
Jon Kabat-Zinn
"Each today, well-lived, makes yesterday a dream of happiness and each tomorrow a vision of hope. Look, therefore, to this one day, for it and it alone is life."
Sanskrit poem
The power of expectations - Mickel Therapy Newsletter - back to top